I am so bored at work that I'm trying to find anything to do to keep me busy. I've asked the other girls in the department if they have stuff for me to do and they have nothing. So, after being told in my review that I spend too much time on the internet, I end up back online to pass the time. Well, what else am I going to do, read a book?
I decided to update some of my other blogs and take a look at old posts. Well, that just led me back to my previous career interests in becoming a Wedding Planner, an Art Teacher, etc. I was so into those things at the time. I did the research, looked at schools, started planning... and then gave up. So, now I'm thinking that I'll never get anywhere because I always just come up with fantastic ideas that dead end shortly after. What's my problem? Why can't I just find my calling? There are so many things I could see myself doing, why can't I just pick one? Maybe I subconsiously sabottage myself. I can't get up enough confidence to actually take an idea and run with it. I've gotten partially there before. The wedding planning dream lasted a little while. I studied books on my own and everything. Then I go and call off my wedding and there goes all my dreams for making a career out of the thing that interests me most. I just feel like such a failure. I feel like the older I get, the less ambition I have and pretty soon I'm just going to end up giving up on everything and just working a stupid dead end job like the rest of these losers.
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