Hitting Rock Bottom, with a side of fries.

I'm so disgusted with myself today. I just finished 2 double cheeseburgers with Big Mac sauce on them, only an hour earlier I had some sort of mango specialty bagel with Maple Walnut cream cheese. I've eaten leftover nacho dip and green bean casserole for lunch every day this week and sweets for breakfast. I don't even know what I've been eating for dinner. I am officially addicted to food. Is there such a thing as food addiction? Well, that's what it seems like. Its as if every time I try to begin a healthy way of eating, I "relapse" and then its all over. I just get out of control and start eating anything I feel like eating. I'm never going to be able to lose any weight at this rate, not to mention the fact that heart disease and diabetes run in my family and my mom is now very close to aquiring both which means I'm a shoe-in. Its sickening. I've got to stop myself before I keel over by the time I hit 30! My goal this weekend is to start (REstart) a healthy eating and walking regimen. Hopefully, I can get myself hooked on it and out of this junk food trap.

I Need a Sponsor

Seriously, I need someone who sees my talent and potential and is willing to donate money to help me succeed. There are so many projects I could be working on in an effort to build a career. But I constantly run into obstacles. If only I wasn't deeply in debt from my first venture into Fashion Design school, I could get a new loan and finish my schooling to get a degree. The funny thing is though, they never teach you exactly what you need to know in college. I almost wish I could design a program myself that would teach me the skills needed to succeed in a computer based fashion world. So, I would need graphic design, fashion design, illustration, marketing and advertising just to start. I'd probably have to go back to school full time! Who has the money to do that? That's part of the reason I quit the first time.

Aside from my incomplete education, I have this old school PC that I've packed to the brim with information. I can't even hook up a printer or scanner to it because I am out of disk space! I dream of the day--Ha! when am I not day-dreaming of something?--when I can buy a loaded 17" MAC Powerbook with all the design programs I could need and even some graphic tools like a digital tablet. I feel so handicapped by my current situation. I just want to jump into doing what I love!

Artsy Kids With Trust Funds

I am laughing on the inside. Why? Because its all beginning to make sense now. Over the past year or so (I'm guessing) I've been discovering what some would call "hipsters". I am largely entertained by this concept--someone who has loads of money but feels the need to make themselves look like they're poor. How is this considered "artsy"? Its just plain stupid to me. Oh hipsters, you get on with your cleverly bad selves. Bwahahahaha!

Since I don't have time to devote right now to developing my theories on this topic, here are a couple (not necessarily related) links which I haven't read all the way through, but might be worthy of a chuckle:
Ding Dong Wedding Cake
Trust Fund DJs
Hipster Handbook
Moxie

Have fun.

An Ode to My American Eating Habits

If it wasn't enough for my weight loss plan to be failing miserably by my own doing, this morning I chose to forgo my routine Starbucks stop in an effort to save money... only to stop later in the drive to work at the doubly fattening Krispy Kreme Donuts. (So much for the money saved.) I guess my sweet tooth got the best of me. As I walked into the franchise, the sugary smell of dough wafted into my nostrils. Ever so nonechalant, I drifted like a kid in a candy store, stopping to take a peek through the large window at the

freshly baked production line. I smiled at the size of this particular location and thought to myself, "You could have a party in here!" Of course, I'm always ready to throw a party at the drop of a hat--why not in a Krispy Kreme Store? As I neared the counter and prepared to choose my poison a very friendly manager approached, with a hot doughnut fresh off the line. "Free Sample?" he offered.

Ahh.. if only all of life was this sweet.

The Politics of Working

I'm starting to wonder if it's this particular job I hate or just work in general. I've known I didn't like this job since the first month I worked here. But now the thought of working in any place just gets me down. Office politics are the most ridiculous thing I've ever encountered. The fact that some people just get to say "that's not my job" or "I'm not doing that" when others have to be at the beck-and-call of everyone else just disgusts me. The other thing I can't understand is the lack of available training in many companies. Sure, you interview someone and they seem to have the skills needed to do the job. But you still have to take them through the ins-and-outs of the company. There's still quirks to the system that they wouldn't know right off the bat. But the company just hangs the new employee out to dry.

I recently updated my resume in preparation for the job market. Not only did I update it to include my current job information, but I competely redesigned it to appeal to event companies. I'm hoping it will land me a job related to wedding planning or event planning. I figure there would be so much variety in that type of position that I finally might find my niche. If not, then I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. Maybe some stranger will leave me an inheritance. (hint hint...donations welcome ::wink::) There's no one in my own famlily with money to leave, that's for sure!

Sunshine Spending

It is a gorgeous day outside! Perfect day to be out enjoying the sun and spending money. What? Spending money? Yes... for some reason I associate happiness with spending money. For instance, I must have a “coffee cocktail” from Starbucks every morning to start my day off right. It wakes me up and gives me that happy feeling even though I know I shouldn’t be spending $5 a day when I can barely afford my bills. Anyway, I’ve also been spending way too much time online at work with all of my blogs and such. So, I am going to try to keep this short & sweet… oh.. mission accomplished since I just lost my train of thought and have no idea what else I wanted to address. Maybe it’ll come to me later.

California.... here I cooome!

For some reason I am completely enthralled by California. I’m not sure exactly when this love affair began. But my wedding research has definitely added to the obsession. It’s like a dreamland to me. I want to go there, wed there, live there! No doubt the enchantment stems from my fixation with the Upper Class and the luxuries that accompany them. Of course! Where else can you find America's Celebrities Residing smack dab in the center of the public eye, but near the beaches of the Atlantic Coast?

The beautiful landscapes, luxurious real estate, old-world Spanish architecture and Latin infused culture fascinate me. Which brings up another good question…why am I infatuated with Latin Cultures? I looked into honeymooning in Spain--Madrid & Barcelona. The architecture is absolutely gorgeous! The mosaics and artwork are so unique compared to what I've seen.

But I digress, California's old-world Spanish flavor is what really catches my eye when it comes to wedding venues in that state. You cannot find one home or hotel that doesn't have a tiered fountain in the center of a tiled courtyard. Its just beautiful. Its like a scene out of a movie. But then again, that'd be appropriate; I think my life is a Hollywood Screenplay.

Notable Mentions:
Rancho Las Lomas ; Adamson House ; La Venta Inn ; Bacara Resort ; California Wedding Guide