Always Wonder What They Think

I guess I'm a little bit paranoid. I'm always thinking that people are talking about me behind my back. Even online in message boards, I'll get a reply on a message I posted and I'll think "what is that supposed to mean?" Or I won't get any responses and I'll think, "are they boycotting me?...are they emailing each other offline to make fun of me, saying that I must be crazy, that I'm an idiot, that I'm too poor to have such expensive taste?"

In everyday life there are tons of things to make me paranoid. I think I'll get fired from my job b/c I know I'm just not the best at it. I think my friends don't really like me, they're just being my friends because they feel bad for me. There's an anti-drug commercial on the radio now where a the girl is saying weed doesn't make her paranoid. "Is my zipper down? Is my shirt inside out? Are my shoes on the wrong feet? Do my socks match? Did I rip my jeans? It's it a zit, isn't it? It's a giant zit!" I'm kinda like that girl, but without the weed. Thoughts run through my head like crazy...

"Are my pants too short? Is my shirt bunched up? Are my roots too dark? Is my chest breaking out? Do I need more makeup? Am I sweating too much? Is he shorter than me? Are my heels too high? Are my thighs too fat? Is my belly sticking out? Is my butt crack showing? Is this too much cleavage? Is he looking at me? Does he like me? Am I flirting too much? Did he see my ring? Is anyone looking? Why is everyone staring at me? Did they see that? Should I tip the bartender? Should I take out more money? Will I get a new job? Can I handle a new job? Am I slow? Do they think I'm dumb? Should I be working harder? Am I incompetent? Am I really just lazy? Do I look like a slob? Am I fat? ....."