I'm in a bit of a bloggers block lately. I don't really have the time to blog often and whenever I do find myself bored at work I end up browsing for Christmas presents. I guess I'm not really feeling the inspiration to blog like I used to. But it is time for an update...
I'm feeling so much better these days! My sickness has gone away for the most part, things are going better at work, and I'm starting to feel like a happy-go-lucky preggers girl. I'm still not really "showing" though. I'm eating so much more now that I feel better and I've kind of been hoping that would help the baby grow because I feel like I should be popping out by now. I don't think its working though. I have my 20 week ultrasound in 11 days. I can't wait to find out if its a boy or a girl! I had an unscheduled ultrasound a couple weeks ago because I got freaked out by spotting. Up until then I had felt like it was a boy. But the ultrasound tech said she thought she saw girl parts. So, I'm eager to find out for sure. BF isn't sure if he wants to know yet but that's only because he wants a boy and doesn't know how to react if its a girl. It kind of makes me sad like "you really can't grasp the concept of having a girl?" I know he's an amazing person and that he'll be a great father either way but right now he has these ideas in his head like, "I can't stand the color pink. I don't want to see Barbies all over the house. What am I going to do with a girl?" I just want him to get over himself and be excited about the possibility of a girl or a boy.We made a big decision the other day. Up until now we hadn't really discussed our living situation too much. We knew we wanted to be together but that we didn't really have the money to do it on our own. So, BF was pretty convinced that we'd have to stay at his mom's house with the baby for a while, maybe a year, in order to get our finances in order and be ready to move out. Nobody liked this idea. His mom didn't want us there. I wouldn't be comfortable. There's not enough room there for my stuff, let alone both of us and a baby. It just wasn't a good idea at all. But he insisted that it was our only option since my mom lives so far away from both of our jobs so we couldn't stay with her. Then one Saturday morning his mom woke up while we were cooking breakfast and immediately got on his case about bills and money issues. It turned into a huge argument. He was really upset and while I was comforting him I couldn't help but tell him what had been on my mind all week even before any of that happened. "I need us to have our own place." I was surprised when he quickly answered back, "Yeah, I know baby. We'll get our own place. Staying here wouldn't be good for any of us. We'll talk about it and start looking after the holidays."
So, we talked about it a little more because I wanted him to really see where I was coming from and not think it was just because of the argument. I told him that its very important to me that I have my own space where I can feel at home because I've moved around so much over the last 10 years that I know what its like not to have that. Also, it wouldn't be fair to his mom to just tell her we're at since we pgoing to stay there when she specifically said, "You can't live here. I'm not raising a baby" and she has her own life to live without us getting in the way.
Not to mention my mom's opinion on it being that it would be unfair to her because any time she wanted to visit us and see the baby she'd also be intruding on BF's mom. ...in the end BF made me very happy. He suggested throbably wouldn't be able to afford much more than a 2 bedroom apartment, we make the 2nd room an art studio/nursery so that I could be with the baby and do the things I love all in the same space. Knowing that I've been struggling with things lately--not having time for myself or energy to do the things I enjoy--it was the most thoughtful thing he could've said. So, until the baby is old enough to start getting into things I think that would be the perfect idea for a 2nd room. ...and I love BF for being so wonderful.
So, we talked about it a little more because I wanted him to really see where I was coming from and not think it was just because of the argument. I told him that its very important to me that I have my own space where I can feel at home because I've moved around so much over the last 10 years that I know what its like not to have that. Also, it wouldn't be fair to his mom to just tell her we're at since we pgoing to stay there when she specifically said, "You can't live here. I'm not raising a baby" and she has her own life to live without us getting in the way.
Not to mention my mom's opinion on it being that it would be unfair to her because any time she wanted to visit us and see the baby she'd also be intruding on BF's mom. ...in the end BF made me very happy. He suggested throbably wouldn't be able to afford much more than a 2 bedroom apartment, we make the 2nd room an art studio/nursery so that I could be with the baby and do the things I love all in the same space. Knowing that I've been struggling with things lately--not having time for myself or energy to do the things I enjoy--it was the most thoughtful thing he could've said. So, until the baby is old enough to start getting into things I think that would be the perfect idea for a 2nd room. ...and I love BF for being so wonderful.
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