I Got My Manic Back

I did it again. I messed around with my best friend. Only this time it wasn't just a random drunken makeout session. Sure, we'd both had a handful of beers. I've found that beer doesn't make me blackout the way rum does now. I'm ok with just drinking beer. But for some reason I've been lusting after him in my head for a week (or weeks) and I finally couldn't take the sexual tension anymore. I have no idea what it is about him that does this to me but he has the ability to make my whole body tingle just by sitting next to me and grabbing my hand. Maybe its that its taboo. Maybe its the fact that we're so close, yet we're still able to keep that pretend wall up that makes it so we don't know the unattractive sides of each other. You know, that side you get to know when you've been in a long relationship with someone or...you're marrying them in 10 months. Yeah, my cheating days are supposed to be over. But I'm still unable to resist this one temptation. Part of me thinks that maybe its the meds. This new medication has me feeling fantastic--like I'm back to my old self again! However, there is that promiscuity factor that comes along with the happy me. Oh, manic phase how I've missed you so... if that is what's going on here. Or maybe I'm just really in love with him and I can't contain it. Hmm.. what would that do to my soon-to-be marriage?