Thanksgiving Recap

Earlier today I was questioning myself, "What's going on here? Am I manic today?" I woke up at 8:30am, when I usually can't get up before 10am lately, started my day by doing dishes, washing MIL's new set of cookware for her so she could use it to cook Thanksgiving dinner tonight, and then straightening up the living room and dusting. I woke up feeling like I had to do something productive today or I'd go crazy. I wasn't going anywhere for the holiday, like I usually do, but I wasn't hosting either. I was just at home with no sense of responsibility. To most people this might be a great thing. To me it was not. Once we brought in the bigger dinner table and started arranging things the way they needed to be for dinner, I started to get crazy anxiety. I was freaking out in my head about how MIL has no clue what she's doing and takes way too long to make a decision about things. I just wanted to be like "The table seats 8, we're having 6. Put it this way and it will work fine!" Then she didn't have a table cloth and didn't want to buy one because they're too expensive. Um, hello? You don't need a cloth one. Just get a disposable from the grocery store. It beats eating on a plain (dirty) fold out table. She just didn't seem to get the idea of how to host a holiday. I'll admit, I've never done it myself. But I was raised by the Hostess With the Mostess and I pride myself on being the same. So, it just drove me nuts to see how MIL works. I explained to to BF this way, "You know when you see a picture hanging just a little bit crooked, and you can't think straight until you straighten it? Well, that's how this is for me. She's the crooked picture."

So, I went to the store and got a tablecloth. Then after a buildup of anxiety while showering and getting ready, I realized I was starving. 2:30 is really the stupidest time to have Thanksgiving dinner. You end up skipping lunch and then being hungry way before anything is ready, especially with MIL who is always late at everything. Of course, this is even worse for me because when I get hungry I start to lose it. Maybe it's a low blood sugar thing. I don't know, but it is just not good. So, as our 1 guest arrived, I made some cheese and crackers and sat down to socialize. It was like I put on a mask. Cheese & crackers out, hostess hat on, ready to go. I had a smile on my face and you never would've guessed I was about to lose it any second.

Not long after that we opened the wine and the rest of the day was great. Yes, I realize I'm self medicating. But honestly, it is the only thing I have for my anxiety these days. Anyway, we had a wonderful dinner. Everything tasted great, we had a nice time, played some games after dinner and laughed a lot. And that is what I'm thankful for this year, that I got through thanksgiving and was able to enjoy it.