Doing Couples Stuff

I had a wonderful weekend with BF. Saturday we went to Six Flags! We weren't sure how the weather would behave. It actually started pouring while he was loading up the cooler with our lunch. But when got to the park it was great! The sun was out most of the day and we didn't get a drop of rain. We were supposed to meet up with my girlfriends who got us the tickets since her work rented out the park for the day. But we ended up spending most of the day on our own, just the 2 of us walking hand-in-hand like a couple of teenagers. We shared a funnel cake, he tricked me into conquering my fear of falling by leading me onto the Giant Drop and then laughed at me when they dropped us because I was breathing like a woman in lamaz class instead of screaming. Then we took a picture in one of those old fashioned photo booths., which he'd never done before. I found that surprising since I've done that every time I saw a photobooth on a date with a boy. Its the perfect momento! When the park closed, we sat on the back of his truck, ate the lunch we packed and drank a beer. We were exhausted!

Sunday we layed in bed all day together and then I cooked him dinner. It was the first meal I've cooked for him that I was actually proud of! I've made pizza before, or breakfast. But this was a real dinner: angel hair pasta in a garlic basil cream sauce, with zucchini, squash, chicken and shrimp in it which he questioned when he saw me making it but he ended up loving it! I was happy that I did so well.

Yesterday was great. I called in sick to work because I just didn't feel like getting out of bed and going! I know its not very responsible, especially when I'm out of sick days for the year already, but oh well. Work sucks, what more do they want from me? haha... so I slept in! It was a gorgeous day, too. So, when BF asked me if I wanted to go for a walk by the river I thought it was a splendid idea. We drove up to the river, then got out and walked along the paths holding hands and talking. It was SO nice. I had all these thoughts and images going through my head as we walked past couples with their kids I pictured us with kids, or I could see us walking along the river just like this when we were old and grey.

That's the thing about him... we have such a nice time just doing nothing together, we communicate well, we have chemistry, everything is great. But there's that stupid part of me that fights it. I look at this weekend and think... Ok that was great. But that's something I want when I am ready to settle down and just grow old with someone. I am SO not ready to settle down. I know my biological clock is ticking and I really am at a good age to get married and have kids. But I want to experience life, be wild and do fun things I've never done before! I don't want to spend my days being broke and planning dinner with someone. I want to be coming home from work, getting dolled up, then out on a date, or out on the town with friends. Then when I'm not doing that, I want to be at home by myself doing whatever I want... sleeping, painting, cleaning, reorganizing my cabinets, cuddling with my cats, listening to music in the dark, having my own little chick flick marathons while stuffing my face with Ben & Jerry's... whatever! Call me selfish, but I don't want my life to be determined by asking how things will effect "us" rather than "me" right now.