What Can I Eat?

Its truly a challenge trying to figure out what my stomach will keep down these days. I think I'm starting to see a pattern with the applesauce and apple juice, rice and potatoes. So, it may be that I can only eat fruit and starch right now. But that could change tomorrow. I'm not getting very many nutrients and my mom is worried. She said the first 8 weeks are crucial in preventing birth defects, so I need to be getting all the vitamins I can. I feel lucky if I can eat a whole meal, let alone all the right foods and such. Only 5 more weeks of this, right? Ugh... only!?

9/18/08-A friend at work gave me a Preggie Pop today. It gave me hope.

Changes in Chemistry

My skin is gross. Its so oily now. My chest broke out again this morning. I have 3 pimples on my neck of all places, and now I have a huge one on my chin which I've successfully turned into a mountain by sqeezing it. This sucks. Not only do I get to be sick and tired every day, but I'm breaking out worse than I have in the last 10 years. wtf... why would anyone want to do this voluntarily? This beginning part is reason enough to get fixed and adopt if need be.

9/18/08-I ran across some interesting and possibly helpful information today. Here it is!

Alright, so I'm a little....slow.

I've been called ditzy, blonde, special, slow... and I never really thought much of it because people always seem to laugh and make it sound like they're just kidding around and they're saying these things with endearment. Then this week when I was talking with my mom about how I was so immature at 23 and I wouldn't have been able to handle a pregnancy at that time, even though I should've been more than able. Its not like I was a teenager. I've known plenty of girls who had kids before they even turned 21 and handled it fine. And my mom says, "yeah, I guess you were kind of...slow. Well, developmentally slow I guess you could say." So, the truth comes out. After all these years, she is finally telling me that I'm not "special" in the way I thought she meant all this time... I'm special like "dee dee dee" special... wtf? So, I asked her, "what if my baby is like that?" and she replies, "Well, that was because your mom did a whole bunch of drugs right before she got pregnant with you and even though I stopped cold turkey when I found out I was pregnant, I didn't have time to clean out my system prior to getting pregnant."

So, what if the medications I take--although they are supposedly ok to continue taking--have the same effect on my child? And if they do, then what can I do differently in raising them to prevent them from having the same setbacks that I've had with being "slow"?

Oh boy... I know this is only the beginning of all the questions and concerns I'll have. I'm in for it.

Morning Sickness

Ugghhhhhhh... I have been extremely sick for the last week. Now I'm back to work and everyone's asking me questions and joking around calling me prego (not knowing I really am). I just want to go home. The last thing I want when I'm feeling like this is to be the center of attention. I just want to sink into my desk unnoticed but it seems like everywhere I go someone has to ask me how I'm feeling, what the doctor said, did they give me anything for my "flu".... its so exhausting. I know that being here is just aggravating my nausea even more but I don't know what else to do... should I stay home longer? I'm out of vacation & sick days so I won't get paid for any days I miss. Should I just stick it out here and have everyone around me commenting and asking me questions all the time? It seems like a lose-lose situation. At this rate I'll never be able to hide it until the first trimester is over. They're all in my grill!