Work Hell

Today I was bombarded with an "unauthorized" meeting called by the lady who sits next to me and is supposed to be training me in my new position at work. I feel like they're setting me up for failure here. They know I'm struggling, but they keep telling me I'm not doing enough or I'm not making a big enough effort. I've told them that I'm having a hard time but they refuse to help me out and give me work that I know I could do without problems. Instead they keep trying to push me to master the new position and get to where they want me to be. I wanted to scream today. It took every ounce of me not to be like, "I don't tell anyone this, but part of the problem is not only the pregnancy effecting my focus and memory, but I'm off the medications that I used to take to get me through each day here. I never had so much anxiety before I came to work here, and now I have nothing to help me through it." But instead I just sat silently because I had absolutely no idea what to say. I can't say any of the things I want to say to them because they'll use them against me. From the looks of it, they're heading towards firing me. I wish they would just do it already so I could collect the unemployment and not have to go through torture in the meantime. My paychecks are half of what they used to be now for some reason, too. I know I've been missing time due to being sick and having to leave to go to the doctor, but it just doesn't seem like they should be that low. At this rate, I want to say I'd be better off without this job but the way the economy is, it would be hard to find something else... especially being pregnant and needing the insurance and maternity leave pay. I'm so fucking miserable here. If ever there was a time when I wished I could win the lottery, it's now more than ever.

The Joys of Working While Pregnant

Ok, so not only did I get a "talking to" about my attendance while I was in my first trimester misery but they documented the meeting and had me sign off on it. Now that I'm into my 2nd trimester, I'm actually able to be at work more. So the attendance isn't as big of a problem at the moment. ...now the problem is that I'm tired, forget things, make mistakes easily and just don't feel like working! So, what now? They're going to keep a record of the tasks I do daily to make sure everything's getting done. WTF!? Can't they just leave me alone and let me work at my own pace? Its bad enough I have to be in this hell hole, learning a job that I never wanted to get into, surrounded by people I can't stand, with no choice but to stay because I need the insurance and the maternity leave pay. It hard enough for me to get through the day without having to deal with them bringing up reason's I'm not living up to my potential. Assholes!