That's a Punctual Baby!

So, it turns out that I went into labor the morning of my due date. Can you believe that? Cleaning and nesting for a few days, then an emotional breakdown because the father of my baby was drunk the night before the due date, then lo and behold it actually happens on time! Well, sort of....

I woke up in the morning with signs of labor, went to the Dr and was told it would happen "tonight", ate a light lunch and walked for an hour, then checked into the hospital around noon Saturday. Labor progressed slowly for the first 12 hours. Then around 1:00am the contractions got worse and I started dilating about a centimeter an hour until I got stuck at 6-7cm for a long time. As time passed, I was exhausted and hungry because they wouldn't let me eat the whole time I was there. My exhaustion didn't help me deal with the pain. The Dr wanted to speed things up since I'd been there at least 24 hours already, so she suggested breaking my water bag. I got more and more scared about what was yet to come. I started crying more frequently and thinking about getting the epidural even though I'd planned to go as natural as possible. I was upset that I was even considering the epidural even though I knew in my heart that it was ok for me to get it. Finally I decided to let them break the water and see how it went. After my water was broken the contractions got much more intense and after 30 hours of labor I decided to get the epidural. At hour 32 the anesthesiologist came in and numbed me up....an hour later my baby girl was born!

Dude... I'm a mom. Crazy!

And by the way, BF was amazing during the whole thing. He's the best Dad ever!!

Countdown to Due Day

I've had so much going on in the past month or so and so many things to deal with I don't even know where to begin. I should've been blogging every time I had something on my mind but I didn't take the chance to do it. So now its the night before my due date and I have a new frustration. BF has been working very hard at his job and constantly having to deal with bullshit and so today he ended up staying after work to have a beer and vent with his buddy that also works there...all the while I've been working so hard here at home to get our living arrangements ready for baby. I've been cleaning and decluttering all day and I just wanted him to come home and be happy to have a nice clean space to relax in and spend some time with me. I keep feeling like these are our last few days to be alone together because pretty soon its going to always be us and a baby...not to mention the fact that we're living in his mom's basement. So, anyway, he didn't get home until 9:45pm and he brings his buddy with him so even though he's home I really don't get to spend any time with him until he finally crawls into bed with me. Who knows how many beers he's had already. I'm sure its just a few but after working all day and being tired he always gets bloodshot eyes really quickly even from just a few and it bothers me. So of course he comes home looking like that and tries to be all lovey dovey with me like I should be excited to see him. For some reason he didn't sense my tone of voice at all on the phone the last 2 times I spoke to him and didn't get the drift that I was upset about something. So, I get pissed off at him as soon as he walks in the door and then I start balling my eyes out and try to explain to him. The situation smoothed itself out but I didn't feel like we'd resolved anything. And now he's upstairs laughing it up and, probably drinking more beer and smoking, with his buddy, his mom, and her bar whore roomate. They sound like a bunch of drunken frat kids. Sometimes I feel so out of place. I barely have any of my own friends that I even talk to on the phone, and he's always hanging out with his friends or making plans for us to go over to someone's house to hang out. Yes, he's made a lot of changes since I got pregnant. But sometimes it just feels like he's trying to keep on living the same life he was when I've done such an overhaul into the role I'm in. I mean, come on! I could go into labor any minute! Is it too much to ask that I be the center of his attention for these next few days?